I walked over to the closest shop that I liked the look of, and wandered inside. I felt a little scared to be going in, because I wasn’t fully Darina yet, and so I was still open to attack from anyone who thought I wasn’t good enough to be shopping in here, but luckily no-one caused me any trouble, and I was able to pick out some really great clothes. In my mind, Darina liked denim, and there were some good blue denim pieces at the back of the shop – dungarees, bags, jackets and trousers. I put a pair of dungarees, three pairs of trousers, a jacket and a bag from this collection into my basket, and then continued to wander around the rest of the shop. Into the basket went a leather jacket, a pair of sunglasses and a few band t-shirts. I didn’t even really know much about the bands on the t-shirts, but it was important for me to wear them, if I was going to convince people of Darina’s coolness. I bought all of this with cash, and then went to a shoe shop to buy some trainers, and some basic pumps. I was also tempted by a pair of red, suede high heels, so I bought those as well. Finally, I needed to buy what I called ‘wardrobe fillers’ – plain t-shirts, vests, trousers and dresses, etc. It was very popular within the region for these kinds of clothes to make up most of a person’s outfit. People here didn’t like to make a show of themselves. So it was that I went into ‘Kinomas’ (‘Cherish’), a popular chain store in the region. I filled up a basket with vest tops and t-shirts of all different colours, and a few dresses of the same. I considered buying some trousers in here, but then decided that the denims would suffice. All of this shopping was quite tiring, and I couldn’t wait to get back to the hotel and try them on. Then I would be able to go and view the apartments that I liked. I had lots of bags to carry, and the woman at the hotel reception stared at me when I walked in the door. She didn’t say anything, but I knew she was wondering why I had bought so much. I didn’t care – people could think what they wanted about Drusilla, it was Darina that they needed to worry about. I struggled all the way up the stairs with the bags because I wanted to avoid the awkwardness of being stood with someone in a lift, and then dived into my room, locking the door behind me. I needed to shut the world out while I transformed myself. I even drew the curtains, despite the fact that I was on the fourth floor and no-one would be able to see me. I switched on all of the lights so that I could see what I was doing, and pulled out everything that I had bought from the shopping bags. In my luggage, I had lots of makeup of all different styles, and I laid this out on the only table in the room, and I grabbed my towel. I had managed to buy some hair dye from the cool clothes shop, and so I took this into the bathroom with me (there were already many small, free toiletries in there), locked the bathroom door, and began to run a bath.
While laid in the bath, I admired the body that was lying submerged beneath all of the bubbles. They tickled and teased me, and the water soothed me and made me want to go back to sleep. Like this I was a blank canvas, completely unchanged and unaltered from Drusilla Deforest. As soon as I left this water, I would be able to change whatever I wanted to make myself into Darina Darcy. I couldn’t wait to get to work, but at the same time I didn’t want to leave the water. I poured some of the scented shampoo onto my hand, and massaged it into my hair. It felt good, and it felt even better to know that no-one was going to walk in and ask to go in the bathroom, or ask me why I was taking so long. I could live completely on my own terms, and do whatever I wanted. The smell of berries was coming from my hair now, and I sank slowly beneath the water to wash out the shampoo. I held my breath under the water, closed my eyes, and ran my fingers through my hair to make sure that all of the shampoo was washed out. Then I resurfaced and relaxed once more. I breathed out, and then in again, and laid back as the water ran down my face and back into the bath. The water was still lovely and warm, and it felt liked it was hugging me as I lay in it. Occasionally, I would wiggle my toes under the water, or move my legs to a slightly more comfortable position, but other than that I lay very still, and I remained in the bath until the water went cold. Then I wrapped several towels around myself, and pulled out the hair dye. It was red, and I had a rough idea of what I wanted my hair to look like, and I quickly started to bring this idea into reality. I couldn’t get dressed while the dye was on my hair, so instead I just started to add random people on social media, in the hope of building up some ‘friends’, and some conversations in my message history. I did this with every identity – I never bothered to add any of the friends that I had on previous accounts, because I didn’t need them in Darina’s life, and I might still choose to use those identities again.
While laid in the bath, I admired the body that was lying submerged beneath all of the bubbles. They tickled and teased me, and the water soothed me and made me want to go back to sleep. Like this I was a blank canvas, completely unchanged and unaltered from Drusilla Deforest. As soon as I left this water, I would be able to change whatever I wanted to make myself into Darina Darcy. I couldn’t wait to get to work, but at the same time I didn’t want to leave the water. I poured some of the scented shampoo onto my hand, and massaged it into my hair. It felt good, and it felt even better to know that no-one was going to walk in and ask to go in the bathroom, or ask me why I was taking so long. I could live completely on my own terms, and do whatever I wanted. The smell of berries was coming from my hair now, and I sank slowly beneath the water to wash out the shampoo. I held my breath under the water, closed my eyes, and ran my fingers through my hair to make sure that all of the shampoo was washed out. Then I resurfaced and relaxed once more. I breathed out, and then in again, and laid back as the water ran down my face and back into the bath. The water was still lovely and warm, and it felt liked it was hugging me as I lay in it. Occasionally, I would wiggle my toes under the water, or move my legs to a slightly more comfortable position, but other than that I lay very still, and I remained in the bath until the water went cold. Then I wrapped several towels around myself, and pulled out the hair dye. It was red, and I had a rough idea of what I wanted my hair to look like, and I quickly started to bring this idea into reality. I couldn’t get dressed while the dye was on my hair, so instead I just started to add random people on social media, in the hope of building up some ‘friends’, and some conversations in my message history. I did this with every identity – I never bothered to add any of the friends that I had on previous accounts, because I didn’t need them in Darina’s life, and I might still choose to use those identities again.